Loving you was the hardest
by shaLy.iS.thy.nAme
Summary: Mikan is moving to another country and is leaving Natsume behind. Things aren't as simple as she thought is would be. Told in Mikan's POV. Warning: AU. OOC. One-shot


**.:Loving you was the hardest:.**

Disclaimer**: **_Gakuen Alice__does not belong to me or its characters. This story is made up my my over imaginative mind. Please excuse the cursing because I believe it adds flavor to the story. I hope you enjoy reading this masterpiece of mine!_

**It is really sad how I grew to hate you as much as I love you. It all started when we first broke up. **

_"What do you mean you're breaking up with me?" I asked in a hysterical voice_

_"Were just not working out, Mikan. You're leaving for Canada; it is on the other side of the world. I don't think that long distance relationship will work out between us." He reasoned out_

_"Is it because you don't trust me? I swear, Natsume, I will be faithful. I won't love anyone else but you!" I desperately shouted. _

**I was and actually am honest when I told him that. I could never love someone else when I have fallen completely and irrevocably in love with him. Yet, no matter how much I wanted for 'us' to work out. It eventually ended as the time for me to leave has gotten closer. I asked him if we could at least just cool-off just to try it out but he still declined and told me that we should just be friends.**

**It was my second year in Canada when he confessed to me why he thinks we wouldn't work out.**

_"I broke up with you because I wasn't sure I could stop myself. You know how jealous I am whenever some guy approaches you. What if, you'd find someone else and decided to leave me. I wouldn't survive it Mikan" he looked devastated even if I could only see him through the camera._

_"Oh Natsume, I've repeated it over and over again that I will never love someone else other than you. Every day, I fall deeper and deeper in love with you whenever we do something together. I'll say it again if I have to. I love you Natsume, I always have and I always will." I replied as I cried tears of happiness and tears of frustration in front of the man who I truly love._

**We got back together after that. I couldn't talk to Natsume everyday so we have this schedule. I'll be online on Friday, Saturday night and Sunday morning, my time; Saturday morning and the whole day on Sunday, his time. If possible, we sometimes leave messages whenever we can.**

**We manage another year and things were doing great. Or, so I thought.**

_"Mikan, I promise, I saw him with Luna today and the other day before that. Hotaru also saw him leaving her house." Anna, one of my close friends told me through Skype._

_"Anna, what do you think is the meaning of this? Is he cheating on me?" I cried_

_"I'm not sure yet, but I'm just warning you. If he is, break up with him. He is not worthy!" She responded_

**I tried acting normal, whenever we talked. Lately, I noticed that he keeps saying: "It is getting late, aren't you sleepy yet?" Sometimes, he'll say he can't make it due to some projects or outings his soccer team is going to. I was starting to get worried for I fear that Anna might be right. That he might be cheating on me. **

**Weeks passed and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I have to ask him. I have to know the truth.**

_"Natsume, I have to ask you something" I started with an even tone._

_"Hn"_

_"Lately, my friends have been telling me that they saw you with Luna. You've been hanging out with her in the malls and even at her house. Is this true?" I asked_

_"Where the hell are you getting at, Mikan? You know I hate it when you're rambling. Just spit it out" he said, he seems to be agitated_

_"Ok, are you cheating on me?" There, I said it_

_"..."_

_"Well, are you or are you not Natsume?"_

_Still nothing_

_"I guess, silence means yes?"_

_"Mikan, I can explain"_

_"Explain what? You cheated on me! Oh my God! You actually cheated on me. For how long?"_

_"It is only been for a couple of months. I swear, I didn't mean to! I was just lonely, I was drunk when it happened! After that, she just started to hang with me! You know I can't just rudely push her off. Her dad and mine are business partners!" He explained_

_"That doesn't give you the excuse to cheat on me. I trusted you. No matter how lonely I was here, I never gave in to temptation. I only love you, but this hurts so much, Natsume. I think, I think we should stop seeing each other" I said_

_"No! You are not breaking up with me! Do you hear me? I won't let you!" He screamed and I can see his anger and sadness through the camera._

_"I'm sorry, goodbye" I logged off._

**It has been five months since I last talked to him. For three week after the break up, he sent me emails every day, asking for my forgiveness and for me to take him back. Two months later, he stopped. It is as if he disappeared on the face of the earth. Hotaru told me his grades were dropping, he was always late in class and sometimes he doesn't even bother to come at all, and finally, she told me that he dropped out of school.**

**I was getting worried. Natsume is the top of the class, his attendance is perfect. He loves school no matter how he complains about it. Whenever we have study sessions at his house, he is really focused. He wants to be a doctor, and in order for him to be one, he needs all the studying he could get. But the Natsume now, is nowhere near the Natsume I used to know. Was it my fault? Was it because I broke up with him?**

**Two years passed and I'm graduating university. Two years of not knowing anything about Natsume. I haven't heard anything about him after he dropped out of class. **

**Sitting in the cafe in front of the university, all I think about is the fun times I have spent with him.**

_"Natsume, we better hurry up. Hotaru will blast your head off if we're not there by two" I said, laughing out loud as I see him panicking_

_There are little things that Natsume is afraid of. But out of all of them, Hotaru is the one that scares the shit out of him. _

_"Shut it Polka, why don't you help me here rather than just laughing and standing there?" He grunted_

_Actually, I know Hotaru won't do anything to him and I know he knows it too. Were currently picking up the new invention she made as a surprise gift for Ruka for his birthday. Hotaru is a lazy person and since she knows that she can get away with anything when it comes to Natsume and me, she is currently using all the underhand method for us to do all her dirty work._

**That was one of the memories I can cherish. Natsume was in fact safe from Hotaru's abuse that day. Sadly, I didn't encounter such fate. I can still feel the small bump at the back of my head. I ended up helping Natsume, but instead of making everything easier, I broke the damn thing.**

**One of the many moments I share with Natsume that still makes me flustered is when he asked me to be his girlfriend.**

_It was the 5th of September and the weather was a little bit cold. I was running late (as always) and I'm pretty sure a tick was growing in Natsume's forehead. We were having a group gathering at the mall but as always, my alarm clock failed to wake me up. As I arrived there, I only saw him._

_"Wow, am I early?" I asked in awe_

_"You wish. Ruka and the devil's pawn are going to the vet, apparently, Usagi is sick. Sea-weed and Monchu are not on speaking terms, again, and refuse to come. Pinky and Koko aren't coming because Koko is sick. Blue and Inchou are expecting the result of their experiment today. So yeah, you're stuck with me today" he explained._

_I knew something was wrong since Natsume was speaking too much. Its either he is nervous or hiding something from me. I decided to do nothing about it and wait for him to tell me._

_"Right. Let's go" he grabbed my hand_

_"And where are we going?" I inquired_

_"Just shut up and follow me, tch"_

_I rolled my eyes. That man can be so demanding sometimes. We ended up going to this fancy restaurant in Central Town._

_"Natsume, I'm not dressed for the occasion" I whined as I saw the people are dressed impeccably inside the restaurant._

_"You're fine. Don't worry about that" he replied. Well, since he also wore casual attire, I didn't complain anymore._

_We were greeted by this haughty maître d' and looked us skeptically._

_"I'm sorry, were full for the evening" he greeted. That was total bullshit; I can see a lot of unoccupied tables inside._

_"I have a reservation" Natsume glared_

_"Really now, your name please?" He asked_

_"Hyuuga Natsume" he replied_

_The maître d' looked at his list and almost popped his eyes out._

_"Ah, yes. Yes. Monsieur Hyuuga. Come in! Come in! The VIP Lounge is prepared for you" I swear, the guy almost peed in his pants._

**The night was amazing, Natsume was a gentleman and I didn't even now he has it in him. He was courteous, he pulled back the chair for me to sit on and whenever I have to go to the washroom, he stands up and escorts me to the door. I guess that etiquette class he attended when we were in middle school did pay off. What still left me flustered were his eyes. His eyes were so sincere; it held all the emotions he can't portray in his face. I saw the love in his eyes, a love so great that made me fall deeper in love with him.**

**Back to where I am today, sitting in the café in front of the university, my mind is wandering off, not noticing a figure approaching my way.**

"Is this seat taken?" a voice that seems so distant yet so similar entered my hearing range.

I looked up and gasped!

The man in front of me is none other than the devil himself!

"N-N-Natsume?" I'm bewildered

"Hn, the one and only" he smirked

"W-what are you doing here?" I exclaimed. Now that I think of it, what is he doing here anyways?

"Well Polka, I told you I won't let you go. So here I am, taking back what's mine" he replied arrogantly. That son of a bitch!

"Excuse me? I believe I broke up with you, remember?"

"I don't recall such incident"

"Damn it! Aren't you missing or something?"

"Ooohh, been updated about my whereabouts recently, polka?"

"Shut up"

"Hn"

"Seriously, what are you doing here?" I am now officially curious

**He is coming near me! What the hell should I do?**

"Polka, I told you. I'm getting you back" he said so seriously.

"But you cheated on me" I reasoned out

"I know and I'm sorry for that. It was wrong for me to do it and I understand if you hate me. But damn it Mikan, I can't live without you." He really does sound desperate.

"Why are you here in Canada? When did you arrive?"

"You're avoiding the topic" damn "But ok, I'm here because I'm taking med school here" double damn

"Ok, nice seeing you then" I got up and walking towards the door until a hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"You are not walking out on me ever again Mikan."

He pulled me towards him and held my chin. He slowly lowered his face towards mine and then… and then… my mind shut off.

**Six months went by and Natsume kept pursuing me. He wooed me all over again. I must say he was really persuasive, but hell, I gave him a hard time as well. **

"Polka, what time are you off?" he asked as he leaned in the counter that is separating us.

I am currently working part-time in a home-oriented restaurant and he is visiting, AGAIN.

"Don't you have classes today?" I replied.

"Not anymore. Its summer break, remember?"

Damn.

"Right, what can I get you then?"

"Are you in the menu?

"Get lost, jerk"

"I'm going to tell your manager how rude you are to a customer"

"Fuck off"

**Well, you can say I was a bit extreme. But whatever, the jerk deserves it. As you can tell, I'm a really forgiving person. I forgave him and eventually took him back. Our relationship is stable and even though we still have random fight about stupid stuff, we still stuck with each other until the end.**

**I'm currently on my way home from work. I quit my part-time job and got a managerial position in one of the hotels downtown. The pay is good but it is a bit tiring facing customers and problems all day long. I'm really looking forward to a jasmine-lavender hot bath today.**

**As I entered the house we both live in, I am a bit wary because the house is dark. Normally, Natsume would be home by now and is either watching T.V. or doing paper works in his study. Hmmmm…**

**I turned on the lights and found rose petals covering the floor and leading towards our shared bedroom. As I followed the trail, I can hear soft music in the back ground and I can smell my favorite jasmine-lavender scented candles inside the room. I slowly opened the door and lo and behold, standing in front of me is the man I love holding a bouquet of white daisies (my favorite flowers) and looking at me with admiration and love in his eyes.**

**I stood still, not knowing what to do. He came closer and captured my lips in a soft, sweet and gentle kiss. As we parted for air, he held me in his arms and whispered: **"Happy anniversary, Polka. Will you marry me?"

Dun

Dun

Dun

**The end. **

Ok, I know you'll hate me for cutting it off like that. But it leaves a sense of mystery. It will entice your imagination to run wild! You could come up with whatever response Mikan would give him.

If you have read my other stories, you'll notice that this has a different format. It is my first time to write a story focused on the past and using a wide range of flashbacks. I must say, this experience is exhilarating to do for I am not used to this, much. But anyways, I might try doing something of similar in the near future.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

PS. No flamers please, constructive criticism is welcome but there is a fine line between the two. I hope you are smart enough to know the difference.

Xoxo,

. -


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